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Friday, October 12, 2012

Have Fun!

I’ve been pretty stressed lately. Actually, that’s an understatement. Between writing for this challenge, international travel and work demands, I’m completely maxed.

My lovely wife, and she is so very lovely, reminded me that I need to have some fun. Actually WE need to have some fun. Truthfully both she and I are under higher-than-normal stress these days, and although we’ve really worked at staying connected through it all, we haven’t been able to just relax and have fun in weeks.That is ridiculous and unacceptable.

Does our situation resonate with you? Many couples I know are under tremendous strain for a variety of reasons. It all boils down to the same thing – stress is a drain on intimacy. I’m not just talking about sex, although that seems to often be the first thing to go when stress hits. I’m talking about genuine intimate connection in the spiritual, romantic, emotional, financial and sexual dimensions of your marriage.



Day 12 For Wives
Have Fun!




When was the last time you and your husband did something together just for fun? When was the last time you laughed together or played a game or enjoyed nature?

Maybe it has been so long that you can’t even remember the last time.

If you are like me, prioritizing fun makes you feel a little guilty. There is so much to do, so many demands on your time and attention. How can you justify taking time to just blow off steam?

Because it's good for your marriage, that's how.

I’ve got to learn to get over that guilty pang that strikes when I think of just taking time to have fun doing simple, fun things with my wife! So do you! Fun is actually an essential component of intimacy. No, you can’t always make it happen, but you at least need to have a plan. For example my wife and I are looking forward to some time away together on a business trip that she’ll join me on.We are clinging to that. Meanwhile, we have a date planned for tomorrow night.

Your challenge today is two-fold.

First, sit down with your husband and make a fun-list. Jot down some ideas that you and your husband could enjoy together just for fun. It doesn’t have to be big or dramatic. It can be something as simple as going out for ice cream (one of my personal favorites!).

The thing is that it needs to something you both consider enjoyable. Sure, there are times when you’ll sacrifice and do something for the sake of your husband, or he might do the same for you. Those activities shouldn't go on this list. Find a dozen or so activities that you both enjoy and write them down somewhere you can refer to them easily and plan them into your crazy schedule.

The second part of today's challenge is to do something fun. No, really, I mean it. Do one of the things on the list or at least make a plan as to when you will. Don’t put it off more than a week, though – that’s too long.




“If you could pick one thing to do today just for fun, what would it be?”










Day 12 For Husbands
Have Fun!




When was the last time you and your wife did something together just for fun? When was the last time you laughed together or played a game or enjoyed nature?

Maybe it has been so long that you can’t even remember the last time.

If you are like me, prioritizing fun makes you feel a little guilty. There is so much to do, so many demands on your time and attention. How can you justify taking time to just blow off steam?

Because it's good for your marriage, that's how.

I’ve got to learn to get over that guilty pang that strikes when I think of just taking time to have fun doing simple, fun things with my wife! So do you! Fun is actually an essential component of intimacy. No, you can’t always make it happen, but you at least need to have a plan. For example, my wife and I are looking forward to some time away together on a business trip that she’ll join me on. We are clinging to that. Meanwhile, we have a date planned for tomorrow night.

Your challenge today is two-fold.

First, sit down with your wife and make a fun-list. Jot down some ideas that you and your wife could enjoy together just for fun. It doesn’t have to be big or dramatic. It can be something as simple as going out for ice cream (one of my personal favorites!).

The thing is that it needs to something you both consider enjoyable. Sure, there are times when you’ll sacrifice and do something for the sake of your wife, or she might do the same for you. Those activities shouldn't go on this list. Find a dozen or so activities that you both enjoy and write them down somewhere you can refer to them easily and plan them into your crazy schedule.

The second part of today's challenge is to do something fun. No, really, I mean it. Do one of the things on the list or at least make a plan as to when you will. Don’t put it off more than a week, though – that’s too long.




“If you could pick one thing to do today just for fun, what would it be?”





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