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Monday, October 1, 2012

I am starting off the challenge by having you take an honest look at the intimacy in your marriage as it is today. The purpose of this self-assessment is to get you to pause and reflect on how the things you are thinking, saying and doing are affecting intimacy with your husband.  

Whether or not you decide to get your husband’s input on this exercise is up to you. Some of you will choose to do the Intimacy Challenge without tipping him off that you are doing it (my suggested method). Others of you will want to explain what the challenge is all about. You decide the best way to handle it for your own situation.

Either way, I encourage you to go through the assessment on your own first. The link below is to a pdf file that contains the assessment. It’s just a single page with 20 short statements about intimacy which you decide are true or not for your own marriage. After answering you can total up your score and see where you stand.

Click here to take the Intimacy Inventory for Wives

Note: from the link you can either print it (use the printer icon after the file opens) or download it to your computer for future reference (select “file - download” from the menu after the document opens). Please let me know if you have any trouble opening and/or printing the assessment.

When your husband leaves for work today (or when he comes home or some other opportune time) give him a kiss he’ll remember all day. Make it at least 10 or 15 seconds. Wrap your arms tightly around him and press your body into his. Your goal should be to see if you can make him dizzy.

Later in the day, call him, text him or tell him in person that you have another kiss like that waiting for him. Make sure you follow up and give him that second kiss.

"What is one thing I could do (or do more of) to let you know how much I love you?"

Don't forget!! Let us hear how you are doing with the Intimacy Challenge!  Drop by Journey to Surrender and leave a comment. You can also leave a note on our Facebook page. Or if you prefer, send me a note by email.  Thanks!!


joshua2415sj3 said...

Love it!! I read this too late to smooch him that way this morning, so I'll make up for it tonight!! ;)

Kate Aldrich said...

Awesome ideas and love the assessment too. I love to be reminded of ways that I need to re-evaluating the intimacy I share with my hubby. Even if your score is high, it is easy to let things slip. And I love the part, "that we all have room to grow"! Can't wait to read tomorrows!

Jamie Bishop said...

I didn't have a chance to do this this morning before my husband left, but I have a plan in mind for when he gets to his mom's house for dinner. Then I can just follow up before bed. Thanks for the idea! Can't wait to read the next 13 (12) days!

Scott said...

joshua2415 - it's never too late for a good smooch!

Kate - thanks for your comment on the assessment. I good way to start off, I think. It's always good to see where you can grow in intimacy.

Scott said...

Jamie, As long as you make a plan and execute it! Have fun with it!

Anonymous said...

The intimacy assessment helped me see the areas I need to work on and the areas I'm succeeding in. I think we've got the physical intimacy thing down, but I'm definitely giving him a kiss to remember tonight after reading this! Thanks for the idea!

Unknown said...

Read this too late. We'll just be a day behind!! Love it so far!

Scott said...

hiseve - I'm glad the assessment was helpful.

Connie - never to late so just jump right it wherever you can!

CassandraSalamone said...

I can't wait to take the assessment! I also can't wait to see my husband and kiss him when he comes down from NY. I already know it will be an unforgettable smooch!

Anonymous said...

I won't see hubby until Friday afternoon, and I am always there with a big, long kiss ready. Unfortunately, he often gives me a peck and will gently push me back if I try for longer. Most of the time I have to wait until he's done giving hugs to the kids and the dog before he turns to me even though I have never made it a practice to greet him curtly and I do try to make myself, our home and family as loving and comfortable as possible for him. I guess if he's happy with that, then he's happy! Frankly, I'd love it if he came home, burst through the door, waded past the kids and dog, grabbed me, pushed me up against the wall and kissed me like he's never kissed me before.

One time, I burst through the door before he got out of the truck and ran to him (you should have seen the look on his face...he thought something was wrong!) and then I jumped into his arms, nearly knocking him over, wrapped my legs around his waist and kissed him as passionately as possible. He liked that. I'll have to try that again some time. :)

I scored 82 on the Intimacy Challenge.

Scott said...

Cassandra - I'm away from my wife this week too. I am counting the minutes to our next kiss.

Anon - not all men are born kissers. But they can learn! have you talked without about how important it is to you? Yes, show him as well as tell him!

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