tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2613335924468202284.post1538436986991729209..comments2023-07-30T05:51:02.673-04:00Comments on Journey to Surrender: When Needs Go Unmet [Needs in Marriage - Part 2]Scotthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15382135979097709418noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2613335924468202284.post-84540521427389961932014-06-27T00:02:35.282-04:002014-06-27T00:02:35.282-04:00This hits home for me, and it's very timely. I...This hits home for me, and it's very timely. I just finished reading a great new book I think is great for all wives (even husbands) at any stage of marriage. It's called "The Wholehearted Wife: 10 Keys to a More Loving Relationship," by Erin, Greg and Gary Smalley. It helped me understand that I need to change me, and that is my greatest influence on my marriage relationship. Biblical, inspirational, affirming. One of my favorite quotes is, "When we turn to God for help, he fills us with his love and enables us to see ourselves and our husbands through his eyes. Keep in mind that a wholehearted wife focuses first on her own heart!" I highly recommend it! http://www.tyndale.com/The-Wholehearted-Wife/9781624051463#.U6upS14Q7wIAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10837115727187800498noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2613335924468202284.post-92157681821101818002014-06-06T18:04:26.852-04:002014-06-06T18:04:26.852-04:00I just go and do my own thing. I try as hard as p...I just go and do my own thing. I try as hard as possible not to be bitter but it is often a losing fight. <br /><br />I came to the realization that I don't want anything I have to beg for. Lonely most times.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2613335924468202284.post-38713891682901537932014-06-01T18:22:48.857-04:002014-06-01T18:22:48.857-04:00Robyn, you hit it dead on. It's when we are &q...Robyn, you hit it dead on. It's when we are "right" that our "rights" tend to come to the forefront of our thinking. It can be really hard to lay them down for the sake of intimacy. But that is exactly what Jesus did!<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05077098086815590889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2613335924468202284.post-10927744900484711622014-06-01T11:57:10.499-04:002014-06-01T11:57:10.499-04:00Just because we are "right" (accurate in...Just because we are "right" (accurate in our perception that our spouse is not loving us the way we need) doesn't mean we are righteous enough to withhold our best from our spouse. This is avenging yourself; God tells us not to do that. "Being right doesn't automatically make you the righteous one either." <--- this one; hard lesson.<br /><br />"This is exactly what happened to me in the journey of my own marriage. When I began to more deeply understand and experience the love of Christ in my life, my understanding of marriage was transformed." -- Ditto for my marriage.<br /><br />I found that when I stepped back and viewed it from '40,000ft' I began to see the pattern that God had set. God gave everything to Israel -- but it wasn't enough, they didn't give back -- talking, as it were, didn't work. So God pulled out the big guns; JESUS, and "Gave Most" and He "Gave First"<br /><br />If it was easy, the reward wouldn't be worth it!<br /><br />Thanks Scott!<br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2613335924468202284.post-71094290139452201012014-06-01T07:51:22.793-04:002014-06-01T07:51:22.793-04:00Paul, I completely agree that enduring a protracte...Paul, I completely agree that enduring a protracted season of one-sided giving is really hard. And the longer it goes on the harder it is not to give up and withdraw. <br /><br />What I hope to offer folks with this post and the ones yet to come are ways to strengthen themselves in the Lord and to not give up. <br /><br />No, it isn't easy. But there is hope. <br /><br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05077098086815590889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2613335924468202284.post-88370454790959855432014-05-31T20:52:13.784-04:002014-05-31T20:52:13.784-04:00Scott - Great thoughts.
Many years ago I was dati...Scott - Great thoughts.<br /><br />Many years ago I was dating a girl and we (mostly she) had talked about marriage. I loved her, but she was rather selfish in many ways. I did all I could to love her, but it never caused a change in her. She eventually left me because I would not cross some lines she wanted to cross. <br />I have often felt I dodged a bullet! I can imagine the marriage I would have had. I know I would have tried to do as you suggest here, but I wonder if I could have done it. The man I am today, yes. The man I was then? Not so sure.<br />It is the right thing, but it can be a very difficult thing.Paul Byerlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10365208584175101402noreply@blogger.com