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Sunday, November 18, 2012
Fellow marriage blogger and friend Paul Byerly (aka The Generous Husband ) tweeted my last post by asking:
Is the culture hurting your marriage?It's a great question!
His tweet prompted me to explore more deeply the ways in which a Christ-centered, biblically-oriented marriage runs against the grain of the prevailing culture. More to the point, we will be looking at ways in which the culture slips into our marriages and wreaks havoc.
As I stated in my last post, it is clear that the cultural trend is toward devaluing and even denigrating marriage. Even if you personally place a high value on marriage, even your own marriage in specific, there are many cultural influences that might be hurting your marriage. In many cases, we aren't even consciously aware of it!
If I had to pick one thing cultural influence that is hurting marriages the most, I think it would be entitlement.
If you want a clear picture of entitlement, watch this YouTube video:
YouTube direct link
If you’ve let at atmosphere of entitlement slip into your marriage, it might come out in the following ways:
- You blame your husband or wife for your unhappiness.
- You think your lack of fulfillment is your spouse’s fault.
- You believe the marriage certificate means you have a right to expect that your wife or husband will meet all of your needs. You might even demand it.
What to do Instead
Maybe you wouldn’t agree with the statements above in their entirety, but it is still possible that such thoughts might creep into your heart and mind on occasion.
If you find yourself fighting with entitlement, here are some ways to combat it:
- Thankfulness – a grateful heart is a great antidote for entitlement.
- Generosity – when you give with the attitude of genuine service from the place of love, you are invoking the biblical paradox that “a blessing breaks a curse.”
- Responsibility – you can only change yourself, so give up trying to change your spouse. Focus on what you can do about you.
- Relationship – choose to focus on your relationship instead of your rights. In every situation, ask yourself, “what action or attitude would keep us closest?”
Has entitlement crept into your marriage? Can you think of other ways to fight this huge cultural influence on your marriage? Let us hear your ideas!
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