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Saturday, December 27, 2014

More Great Gifts for Your Marriage

There are three unique aspects to this final Friday Freebie of 2014.

First, I'm posting it on Saturday (blame it on the holidays). Second, I'm actually giving away THREE books instead of just one, so there will be THREE winners. Finally, I'm extending the length of this contest through midnight, New Year's Eve.

Each of these books would be a great gift for your marriage!

Yes, it's after Christmas, and I'm still talking about giving gifts. That's because The Gift of Sex is something to be given to your marriage all year round! So I'll be continuing with the series for at least a few more posts. (To get all these great posts sent right to your inbox, you'll want to subscribe here, but if you want credit toward the giveaway, sign up through RaffleCopter below).

Please help me spread the word about this giveaway.
  • Visit my Facebook Page and like and share any post you find there about the giveaway! 
  • Use the Facebook buttons at the bottom of this page to like and share this post with friends.
  • You can also click right here to Tweet About The Contest now.
You can also share by using the Rafflecopter social media entries as part of the giveaway contest.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

You can explore the books from the giveaway using the links below.  Also if you choose to purchase them through the affiliate links below, you help support this ministry:

The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: (Kindle Edition)

The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: (Paperback)

Pursuit of Passion: Discovering True Intimacy in Your Marriage (Kindle Only)

Keep Your Love On: Connection, Communication & Boundaries (Kindle Edition)

Keep Your Love On: Connection Communication And Boundaries (Paperback)
Monday, December 22, 2014

It's not high drive vs. low drive.  It's the two of you, as one, battling for intimacy in your marriage.

We're exploring the ways you can give your spouse The Gift Of More as part of our Gift of Sex series. Let me set up this post by reminding you of an important principle from my last post.

When your spouse says they want more sex, chances are what they are actually wanting is more of you.

It is very helpful to remind yourself, when you are working on improving your sex life, that the real goal is increased intimacy between you and your spouse. The end goal is to enjoy more of each other.

Today's "more" is a common battleground for couples: frequency. How much sex is enough sex for you? How much is enough for your spouse? How do you negotiate the difference?

The Once Per Week Dividing Line

Of course frequency is not the only thing that matters when it comes to sexual satisfaction, but two things rang true in my recent poll. First, there was a strong correlation between frequency and satisfaction. Second, almost everyone wanted "more" sex than they were currently having.

Look at how the shape of the two lines in the chart below track together pretty closely through the various stages of marriage. The line of lips is the frequency of sexual encounters in an average month. The smiley face line shows the overall sexual satisfaction on a ten point scale.

Non-geeky-chart-person interpretation: more frequent sexual encounters corresponds to a higher level of sexual satisfaction (and conversely, fewer encounters meant a lower satisfaction). Certainly there are other factors that cause sexual satisfaction to ebb and flow through the years of marriage, but it appears to me that frequency is one key factor.
click to enlarge chart

The "average" number of sexual monthly encounters from the poll was around 8, or roughly twice per week. But averages can be deceiving. What was interesting was the sharp break in satisfaction level when a couple was having sex less than once per week compared to more than once per week. Have a look:
click to enlarge chart

For couples who were having sex more than once per week, 85% reported being satisfied or very satisfied in their sex life (97% of women and 74% of men). Maybe even more importantly, only five percent (1 in 20) were dissatisfied when having sex two or more times per week. Conversely, when sex dropped below once per week, 68% were dissatisfied or very dissatisfied (68% of men and 69% of women). The contrast is startling.

Compromise or Cooperation

You hear a lot of marital advice around the notion of compromise.

Personally, I think compromise isn't necessarily the best solution. To me compromise means somebody (or both parties) gave in and probably neither person actually got what they wanted. Compromise is often simply managing each other's degree of unhappiness. 

Remember, you are talking about lovemaking, the deepest form of human intimacy, not negotiating a deal!

Better than just a mathematical medium point between how much sex you want and how much your spouse wants, why not have a conversation about what is best for your marriage and the intimacy you share.  Ask important questions like,  "what is keeping us from having sex more often?"  How long before lack of sex becomes difficult for the highest drive spouse? Are there things the higher drive spouse can do to contribute to the sexual interest of the lower drive spouse (including emotional intimacy outside the bedroom)?

The thing to remember is that you are both on the same team in the frequency debate.  It's not high drive vs. low drive.  It's the two of you,  as one,  battling for intimacy in your marriage. And I'm not using "intimacy" here as a euphemism for sex.  I mean intimacy in all forms, which will definitely be capped when there is sexual dissatisfaction in your marriage.

The Desire for More

The numbers above say that if you aren't having sex more than once per week, both of you are more than likely unhappy about it. And I do mean both. And both of you probably want it more.

The survey found that when sexual frequency dropped below once per week, 93% of husbands and 64% of wives said that they wanted more sex (or much more sex). Overall, only one in six wives (and almost no husbands) reported actually wanting less sex than they were currently having. It's probably safe to say that for these few people, there are non-sexual relationship issues that need to be resolved.

It's important to understand, however, that those who indicated that they want more sex, don't necessarily mean they want more sex in the current state of their marriage. Many may be saying they want a better marriage, and thus would want sex more. The thing to realize is that while a lack of sex may point to unhappiness in a marriage, it can also contribute to it. 

Now if frequency is not an issue in your marriage bed, I'm happy for you. But stick around. We'll look at another kind of "more" next time: more variety. You can subscribe here to make sure you don't miss out.

I challenge you to try upping your game to having sex at least twice a week and see what happens to the atmosphere of your marriage. If you are already doing that, step it up one more notch to three or four times a week.

How have you and your spouse settled the frequency question?  Do you have some thoughts you would share with my readers on this very important and often contentious topic? Leave a comment.

The Marriage Bed survey on Sexual Frequency

core image credit: lightwise /

Friday, December 19, 2014

Your spouse doesn't just want more sex, he or she wants more of you.

Don't forget to enter my Friday Freebie giveaway below and win a copy of Sheet Music, by Dr. Kevin Leman, a great book for couples. 

How much sex is enough sex? Who gets to decide? Is compromise the best strategy? Which matters more: quantity or quality? What constitutes a good sex life? What about the whole high drive/low drive thing?

These are all good and important questions when it comes to sexual satisfaction in marriage, and yet they only touch the surface of what it means to have a sexually satisfying marriage.

Sex Matters

Back when I started this Gift of Sex series, I explained why sex is so important to a strong, intimate marriage. If you still aren't convinced, go back and read it again. Bottom line: a marriage where either partner is sexually dissatisfied for a prolonged period is a marriage at risk.

Sex matters, because couples say it matters. In my recent poll on the meaning of 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 (Who Owns My Body?), 95% of men and 92% of women, agreed or agree strongly that "sex is essential to keep a marriage strong." That's 94% overall. Less than 3% overall disagreed. The other 3% were unsure.

Another startling result was the fact that 98% of men and 97% of women agreed (or strongly agreed) that "It is important for me to know that my spouse desires me sexually."

Sex really matters!

More of You

As can happen for any couple, a few years ago our sex life had become somewhat routine. Due to some physical issues Jenni was having, not only was it routine but also a bit clinical. Yes, we were having sex, but it wasn't passionate or spontaneous. Eventually Jenni picked up on my dissatisfaction. I admitted it was an issue, and I disclosed my desire for "more" to her.

Initially Jenni felt hurt, like I was saying she didn't satisfy me or excite me. She responded by withdrawing, saying that she wasn't what I wanted. It left me feeling sorry I had said anything. But then the Lord broke in and whispered to her, "It's not that you aren't what he wants; it's that he wants more of you."

She asked me if it was true and then, after I said "exactly," she chose to believe it. It's made a dramatic difference not only in our sex life, but in our ability to talk about it more openly, without condemnation or shame creeping in.

Couples whose sex life is less than satisfactory often argue over three kinds of "more:"
  • More frequency
  • More variety and less routine
  • More active engagement from their partner
The three are certainly interrelated, but I'm going to look at them one at a time in subsequent posts.

We'll start next time with the most obvious one: frequency. So check back for some fascinating results on frequency from my recent survey. You won't want to miss The Gift of More Frequent or any of the other coming "more" posts. You can subscribe here to make sure you don't miss any posts.

Meanwhile, enter the giveaway below. If you leave a comment, please note it in RaffleCopter so it counts toward the giveaway. You can tweet about this post once per day for additional entries. Ends Monday at midnight, as usual. 

Whether you enter the giveaway or not, I highly recommend this weeks Friday Freebie as one of the best books on sex from a Christian perspective that I've read, and I've read a lot of books on the subject. It's comprehensive. It's frank. Yet it's written in a open and friendly style. If you buy through my links below on Amazon, you help support this ministry.

Click for Kindle Version or for Paperback Version.

a Rafflecopter giveaway
Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Christmas is coming! Here is your last minute gift help!

I'm interrupting my Gift of Sex series for this very important post!

I probably don't need to remind you that Christmas is only 9 days away. Sorry if that gives you sweaty palms. But not to worry. I'm here to help.

Before I offer the promised help, I would like to remind you (once again) that Christmas is NOT about gifts. Sure, if you are like me you probably enjoy the chance to bless your wife (or husband) with a nice gift. But don't lose your focus. Remind yourself that we are celebrating the ultimate gift.

The God of the Universe stepped out of the perfection of heaven and came to Earth as a man to win you and me as His eternal bride. Now that's a gift.

Now back to the main reason for this post.

Indeed, I've been watching out for you, studiously monitoring my inbox, Facebook, Twitter and blog reader feed for Christmas gift idea lists from marriage bloggers I follow and respect. I'm sure you can find a great gift idea for your spouse among these lists!

So relax and click away...

What to Get Your Husband:

Wife’s Gift Guide to Knock Your Hubby’s Socks Off! 2014 Edition from Kate of One Flesh Marriage

Gifts for Him from Lori, The Generous Wife

Romantic Gift Ideas for Him from The Romantic Vineyard

15 Christmas Gift Ideas for Your Husband from Jennifer, The Unveiled Wife

Sexy Stocking Stuffers for Your Husband from Sheila of To Love, Honor and Vacuum

50 Gift Ideas for Him, Under $20 Each from Darlene at Time Warp Wife

10 Sexy, Manly Items for Your Hubby’s Christmas Stocking from J at Hot, Holy and Humorous

What to Get Your Wife:

Christmas Gift Guide to Wow Your Wife – 2014 Edition from Brad of One Flesh Marriage

What Does Your Wife Want for Christmas? From J at Hot, Holy and Humorous

Gifts for Her from Paul, the Generous Husband

Romantic Gift Ideas for Her from The Romantic Vineyard

The all-important What Not to Give Her For Christmas list from First Things First

Gift Ideas for Women from Jolene Engle

10 Creative Gifts That Cost Little or Nothing form Jerry Stumpf of Cracking the Marriage Code

More For Him or Her:

The One Flesh Marriage Gift Idea Archive from One Flesh Marriage

Christmas Gifts to Nurture the Soul from Sheila at To Love, Honor and Vacuum

For the wives of husbands who struggle with the whole gift thing: Giving Your Husband Gift Giving Help from The XY Code

How to Get the Perfect Present for Your Spouse from Simple Marriage

Top Marriage Book Picks from Hot, Holy and Humorous

From Journey to Surrender

Sign up for my Pathways monthly marriage newsletter and get a free copy of the updated and expanded Intimate Connections, Print out the 20 fun fill-in-the-blank intimate conversation starters and put them in a nice binder.

See my archive of Romantic Ideas. Dozens of romantic gift ideas for her and even some for him.

Do you  have a gift idea? Care to let us in on what you are giving your spouse this Christmas? Do you know of a good idea list that should be added to my list of lists? Bring it on! Comment!

image credit: dimol /

Friday, December 12, 2014

Pour a little passion into your marriage this Christmas.

It's Friday Freebie time again! Each week this month I'm giving a different gift to you as part of my Gift of Sex series. This week you can win a copy of Shannon Ethridge's book Passion Principles through the contest at the bottom of this post.

I choose this book for the giveaway this week because Shannon really gets it that sex is much more than just a physical thing. It is also spiritual, mental and emotional. Great sex involves your whole beings, and this book dedicates sections to how to integrate each area into your sex life.

This is a great book to read as a couple in order to spark some conversations, especially if you have a little trouble talking about your sex life. Each chapter includes a "Ponder the Principle" section with conversation inducing questions.

I highly recommend The Passion Principles as a way to give your spouse a gift that will spark a little more passion this Christmas. If you by the book on Amazon through my links you will help support this ministry. Click the links below for the version you want.
In case you missed my recent series Pump Up the Passion. I've recapped it below. Each post has practical tips on how to grow the passion and intimacy level in your marriage. You'll even find some tips that will make great Christmas presents.
  1. Passion: The Key to Moving from Duty to Delight
  2. Pursuit (for Husbands)
  3. Pursuit (for Wives) 
  4. Playfulness
  5. New Passion Perspectives
  6. Positivity (for Husbands)
  7. Positivity (for Wives)
  8. Pleasure
Get the book (or win it) and browse through my series. Take some steps toward giving your spouse the Gift of Passion this Christmas.

Enter the contest below before midnight on Monday!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Give the gift of yourself to your spouse this Christmas
[Tweet This Post]

Christmas is a giving kind of season, and we're talking about giving one of the most important gifts to the most important person in your life. Yes, we're talking about the giving "The gift of Sex" to your spouse.

Last month I did a survey on a portion of scripture that doesn't get a whole lot of attention in the church. My wife actually shared in her post, The Gift of As You Wish - In Bed.
The husband should not deprive his wife of sexual intimacy, which is her right as a married woman, nor should the wife deprive her husband. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband also gives authority over his body to his wife.
1 Cor 7:3-4 NLT
I realize these verses convey a pretty radical idea, but that's the Kingdom of God for you.  Yes, there it is in black and white: your spouse has authority over your body. I was happy to see that in my survey, 93% of people said they thought this scripture still applies today. I heartily agree. But some of the other results in the survey made me wonder why the marriages represented in the survey aren't sexually stronger than what they reported.

Here is a quick look at sexual satisfaction by gender.
If  you are not a chart kind of person, let me break it down a bit for you. About as many husbands felt negatively (43%) about their sex lives as felt positively (44%). Wives, on the other hand were 60% positive to 30% negative.

The Rights and Wrongs of It

Whiles it's true that spouses have the rights to sexual satisfaction from each other, there is are wrong ways to go about it. Demanding, berating, begging and bargaining are definitely the wrong way to go about getting sexual satisfaction. Throwing the above Scripture in your spouse's face isn't likely to produce any positive results either.

So what is the right way to go about assuring sexual satisfaction in your marriage? The truth is that this is a shared responsibility. I describe this shared responsibility as mutual sexual surrender. Mutual sexual surrender is simply the notion that each of you is to freely give the gift of yourselves and your bodies to each other.

It means not withholding sex or gate-keeping where physical intimacy is concerned. It means saying yes unless you have a very good reason to say no. And "I don't feel like it" is not a good reason. In my survey, almost one third of wives and 10% of husbands admitted to regularly saying no to their partners. In addition, one in three wives and one in seven husbands said that "not feeling in the mood" was a reason to deny their partner sex. These are not good numbers.

Giving Yourself Freely

I'm going to pause here to remind you of a very important Bridal Paradigm principle - the a marriage model based on the notion that we are the bride of Christ, and Jesus is our Bridegroom:
The Bridal Paradigm is more about what it compels you to give than what it permits you to demand. [Tweet This]
Put another way, you should read and take to heart the scriptures on marriage that apply to you and disregard the ones that apply to your spouse. In other words, work on your half of the bargain. It's the only part you actually have any real control over.

If you are like some in my survey who regularly deny their spouses sex, for whatever reason, I'm asking you to change your thinking. Remind yourself that your body was created so the you could choose to give it as a gift to your spouse. You and your spouse are one, so any gift given to your spouse is actually given to yourself as well.

Think of the delight your spouse will feel when you give yourself as a gift to be "unwrapped." Whatever self-image issues you may have with your body, try to lay them aside for the sake of the sexual oneness that God intends for your marriage.

If you want test out what this kind of mutual sexual surrender can do to radically change your marriage, make a pledge to yourself that you will not say "no" for an entire month. Watch what happens to the intimacy and passion level in your relationship.

If you are feeling really, bold, write a card to your spouse with the one month pledge on it. Explain that you are giving yourself as a gift to him or her this Christmas. 

Friday, December 5, 2014

Aff Link
Win a copy of J. Parker's great new devotional for women: Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage. 

I thought Gift of Sex month would be a great time to bring back Friday Freebies by offering my own "gifts of sex."

This week I'm happy to give away a copy of a great new devotional book by J. Parker of Hot Holy and Humorous fame (Thanks to J for making this available to my readers!)

If you aren't familiar with J's blog, and you should be, she writes about sex from a Christian perspective, with both wit and sensitivity, something that isn't all that easy to pull off. Her new book, however, filled with 52 weekly biblically-based devotions, is a bit more on the "serious" side - and that's a good thing in this context.

Although each weekly devotion is short and easy to read in just a few minutes, there is plenty to chew on. Each devotion starts with a scripture passage, then J. shares her reflections on what it means for our sexual relationship with our spouse. There are also a few thought-provoking questions, followed by a related prayer.

If you want a taste of the content check out her post, What Does a Sex Devotion Look Like?, where J shares one of the devotions that didn't make the cut of 52 that are in the book.

This is a fantastic resource. I love the idea of taking the Bible into the bedroom. After all, sex was God's idea in the first place. There is no reason to separate the spiritual from the sexual.  It's all spiritual!

Below you'll find the details of giveaway, including the opportunity to take my newest poll on sexual satisfaction in marriage. Of course you can also take the poll without entering the contest at this link.

Give your marriage the gift of a better, more spiritually aware sex life. I highly recommend you get J's book for yourself or a friend. (You can get it through my Amazon affiliate link and support this ministry by clicking on the book at top of his post, or by clicking these links for Kindle or paperback.)

Hurry and enter!  Contest only runs until 11:59 PM Monday!

Giveaway Details: a Rafflecopter giveaway
Wednesday, December 3, 2014

[Wives Only Wednesday]

When you lean into your husband's desires, rather than resist them, you can rediscover God's amazing gift of sex.
[Tweet This]

I'm pleased to present part two of my wife's previous Wives Only Wednesday post. Today, "As you wish" moves to the bedroom.

This is also first up in my series The Gift of Sex. If you missed my post setting up the series, go back and check it out.

I'll remind you that my wife originally shared this message with a group of women in the "empty nest" stage of life, but the truths here apply to marriages at any life stage.

In Part 1 of this post I pointed out that when you say "As you wish" to your husband you are actually saying "I love you." [Tweet This]

Last week we saw how your "As you wish" translates into respect, which a key need for most husbands. Not surprisingly, the other key need, as reported by husbands in our recent survey, is the need for a satisfying sex life.

While most women can give mental and experiential agreement to this wish for sex, more sex, variety in sex..., I'm not sure we really get it. That's why this quote from Paul Byerly, written on his X-Y Code blog, is so helpful:
For men sex communicates love and acceptance, while a lack of sex communicates the opposite. I realize this is not usually what women are communicating with sex and saying no, but it is what men feel. Even when you convince a man this is not what she means, he will still feel it.

When a man feels a good sexual connection with his wife he starts to want other forms of intimacy. Not tolerate, want. The need was always there, but it is hard to hear over the much louder need for sexual intimacy.
I'd also like to share this important "As you wish" Scripture passage:
The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.

Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together gain so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
1 Corinthians 7:3-5 (NLT)
Now don’t freak out Ladies! We can give the gift of "As you wish" in the bedroom (or anyplace he may wish), but you are the one to decide how far this gift goes. I don't know about you, but for me when I feel like I have to do something, it affects my mood, and it actually makes it difficult for me to want sex. But I have discovered that if I will lean into my husband’s desires rather than fight against or avoid them, I actually have an amazing time!! I find the truth is that great sex is important for me too!

Also, for empty-nesters it's important to realize that older men who want sex are not dirty old men, they are just being men!  This chemistry inside of them is involuntary, and it was GOD who made them that way! It is not fair to shame your husband for something God-given and good.  This is God’s idea and His plan, not just for our husbands, but for us and our marriages.

(I realize that in 15-20% of marriages, it is the wife who is the higher drive spouse, so your "As you wish" may need to be expressed in other ways. See my "As you wish" list at the end of this post.)

Sex Still Matters

As men age, their drive may appear to lessen, but in reality that drive is still chemically in him.  It may take more than a thought or visual stimulation at this point, so their desire/drive may not be as obvious to you. The arousal is still there, but they may need more physical stimuli than when they were younger, and frequency may change, but remember, you are changing too!

If you are dealing with tiredness, change up the times of day that you come together. After all, you have an empty nest! Take advantage of it! Before or after dinner are great times, and it allows you to unwind for the rest of the evening. Mornings can work too!

If you are dealing with dryness and/or hot flashes or other physical issues, I encourage you to talk to your gynecologist. Research is constantly changing and there are ways to help with the symptoms you may be experiencing. KY Jelly may no longer be the lubricant of choice as it’s properties don’t address the kind of dryness that accompanies menopause or help with painful intercourse.  I prefer Poise and have friends that rave about coconut oil. Care enough to research it, and be willing to try different options.

As far as the changes in your libido go, I have found that regardless of age, having sex makes me want to have sex.  If I watch my energy level and get enough sleep, I find that I can think sex and my desire goes up with my thoughts. Remind yourself that sex is good and desirable and so are our husbands. Don't believe the misconception that says that if you are a powerful woman, you don't need sex.

Regardless of your age or previous sexual struggles, don't ever decide that sex is over.  Sex can always begin again; it is never too late.

As You Wish Ideas

So think about how you can give your husband the gift of "As you wish" for Christmas this year, whether it in the bedroom or in the other areas of your marriage. Here are a few ideas to prompt your thinking:

  • Use the phrase “As you wish” at least once a day.
  • Find a way to express and say to your husband, “You are my hero”
  • Change your tone
  • Make a celebration list of 5 things you love about your husband.  This is for you not him.  As you look at this list your heart will soften towards him.
  • Add something new in your sex life, perhaps this will be having sex!!
  • Try texting!  You can be as casual as “I am thinking of you”  to using a private communication app like Couple or Avocado.
  • Fight your urge to nag.  Don’t do it!
  • Let it go, even though you have a RIGHT to whatever it is
  • Ask your husband, “What says I Love You to you?”
  • Plan a surprise that is obviously as HE wishes rather than you
  • Other opportunities to express “As You Wish:” What’s for dinner, which restaurant, control of the remote, which movie, how you spend your time, which route to drive, your outfit, your hair style, your perfume, how the money is spent.

With this post, you have your first opportunity to give your spouse and your marriage The Gift of Sex.

If you tend to think of sex in terms of "If I must," work on adjusting your thinking to be more in line with "As you wish." Such a change in mindset can transform sex from a duty to a delight!

My current poll, "Who Owns My Body," asks some questions around the verses of the Bible quoted above (1 Cor 7:3-5). If you haven't yet, it's not too late to take the survey now.

Monday, December 1, 2014

Stuck for what to give your spouse for Christmas? How about the gift of a better sex life?

Welcome to December!

I'll admit it. I love the Christmas season. Christmas decorations. Christmas music. Christmas trees. Christmas cookies. All of it. Well, I love almost all of it.

My one exception: Christmas shopping. Even with the online shopping revolution (Amazon is my best friend!), I tend to agonize over selecting just the right gifts for those I love the most.

A Gift for Your Marriage?

As you ponder what to give your spouse this Christmas, let me suggest you think of it from a slightly different angle. Why not give a gift to your spouse that will help build your marriage? That's right, give your marriage a gift this Christmas.

What can you give your marriage? I believe that one of the best gifts you can give your marriage is the gift of a better sex life. [Tweet This]

Why Sex?

The main goal of every marriage is intimacy in every form (or if it isn't it should be!). God created sex as the deepest form of intimacy, and He set it up to be something unique to the relationship between husband and wife. That's His design. That's His desire. God likes sex.

A marriage where sexual intimacy is a struggle, or worse yet, is practically non-existent, is a marriage headed for trouble. Even when sex is good, there is always room to grow in sexual intimacy. No, I'm not saying marriage is all about sex. What I am saying is what many experts say. Sex is the glue that holds a marriage together. [Tweet This]

Here are just a few reasons to give the gift of sex this Christmas:
  • Sex is unique.  It is the one thing that distinguishes your marriage from every other relationship in your life.
  • Sex is powerful. A vibrant sex life can transform your marriage.
  • Sex is essential. If your sex life is hurting, you need to work on it.
  • Sex is beautiful. When it is working as it should, it creates a wonderful sense of well-being.
  • Sex is a window. What's happening (or not) in your bedroom often points to what is happening (or not) in your marriage.
  • Sex is holy. Physical intimacy is God's gift to couples. It is a celebration of the "one flesh" covenant you share with your spouse.
  • Sex is worth it. It's not always easy to embrace the vulnerability that working on your sex life requires, but it is more than worth the effort.

December: A Month of Sex

This month I'll be doing a month-long series called "The Gift of Sex."

Each post will examine a different aspect of physical intimacy. Expect that I'll be challenging some of your current thinking on the topic. Expect that I'll be giving you some unique "gift" ideas. Expect that I'll be giving you some assignments and suggestions for how to improve  your sex life.

I'm kicking things off on Wednesday with a follow up to my wife's last post. Be sure to check out "The Gift of As You Wish in the Bedroom."

As part of this series, between now and Christmas, I'll also be doing weekly Freebie Friday giveaways, the first of which I'll announce on Friday. Stay tuned!

I'll also be covering some results from my recent poll, "Who Owns My Body," where I ask some questions around the verses of the Bible that say your spouse actually owns the rights to your body (1 Cor 7:3-4). If you haven't yet, it's not too late to take the survey now.

Finally, so as not to ignore the topic of non-sexual gifts, I'll be pointing you to some great posts by other marriage bloggers with tons of gift ideas for your spouse.

You don't want to miss any of this, so if you aren't a subscriber, click here and sign up to get my posts sent right to your inbox!

Check out all the posts in the Gift of Sex series:
  1. The Gift of "As You Wish" - in the Bedroom
  2. Friday Freebie: Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage
  3. The Gift of Yourself
  4. The Gift of Passion
  5. The Gift of More
  6. The Gift of More Often
  7. The Gift of More Engagement
  8. The Gift of More Variety
  9. The Gift of Sex: When Your Spouse Won't Give It

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