Journey to Surrender

Free intimacy building download, just in time for Valentine's Day!

That's right. I'm offering my popular 14-Day Intimacy Challenge for Husbands and Wives for free through Noisetrade. Thousands of couples have already downloaded these great eBooks and taken the challenge. Now is your chance. 

Get the Husbands Challenge Here.

Get the Wife's Challenge Here.

This is a limited time offer, so get them while you can!

Learn to Think, Act and Communicate in Ways That Cultivate Intimacy in Your Marriage!

What is the Intimacy Challenge?

If you aren’t satisfied with the intimacy level in your marriage (and I don’t think you ever should be), it’s time to challenge yourself to take a fresh approach. The Intimacy Challenge dares you to do things differently in order to get different results. By following each daily call to action you will begin to think, act and communicate in new ways that encourage intimacy to thrive.

Who should take the challenge?

For many couples, intimacy is an ever-elusive goal. Every couple wants more of it, though many can’t agree on what exactly it is. Few couples know how to get it, and even fewer actually attain it. If this describes your marriage, even a little, take this 14-day challenge and watch the intimacy level rise to new heights.

Why should I take the challenge?

Every couple will benefit from making intimacy a priority. The truth is there is always more intimacy available.

What real couples say

Here's what real couples have shared about their experience with The 14 Day Intimacy Challenge:

• "Thank you for the helpful tips and advice. It has really helped us grow closer together!"
• "Sometimes it is just the awareness that helps to make things work better, and you provided that for me."
• "Thank you for so many great ideas that stretched me out of my comfort zone!"
• "Thank you for your investment in marriage. Many need this type of encouragement and advice!"
• "Thank you for such a wonderful marriage building exercise!"

How to Give It

This challenge makes the perfect gift for Valentine's day.

Here's one suggestion for how to give it. Print out the cover and wrap it or put it in card. When your spouse opens it, explain that every day for the next two weeks you'll be taking the challenge, which is designed to build more intimacy in your marriage. Each day has something to think about, something to do, and something to ask. You could leave it at that, or explain further, as you wish.

Another way to give the challenge is to not say anything about it until the challenge is over, or unless your spouse begins to suspect that something is "different" and asks.

The third way to give it is to decide to do the challenge together and take turns with each day, spreading the challenge out to 28 days. (He does his Day 1, then she does her Day 1, etc.)

However you decide to give it, please do make this investment in your marriage. You'll be glad you did.

Feel free to drop back by and tell us how it went with a comment below.

Sign up for my posts by email and get the Intimacy Challenge for free!

If you have never done my 14 Day Intimacy Challenge, this month would be a perfect time to do it. In fact, I suggest you give the challenge to your wife or husband as a gift for Valentine's Day.

In my last post I gave you some great ideas for romancing your spouse this Valentine's Day, and I promised one more idea that tops them all. Trust me, The 14 Day Challenge will do your marriage a lot more good than flowers or candy ever could! 

Take the Challenge, Give the Challenge

How can you give the challenge as a gift? Well, it starts by signing up to get my posts by email. In return you get the download links to both the husband's and the wife's edition of the 14 Day Intimacy Challenge e-book.

Download the challenge and print out the cover page. Put the cover page in an envelope and give it to your husband or wife on Valentine's Day. You can explain as much or as little about the challenge as you wish.

Then, for the next fourteen days, which conveniently fits into the remaining days in February, do the daily challenge. The challenge for each day has three parts: Think, Do, and Ask. Each day is designed to get you to think, act and speak in ways the build the physical, emotional and spiritual intimacy in your marriage.

Here is what a few who have taken the challenge have said:

Thank you for such a wonderful marriage building exercise!

Thank you for the helpful tips and advice. It has really helped us grow closer together!

Thank you for your investment in marriage. Many need this type of encouragement and advice!

Whether you give/take the challenge as a gift or not, sign up today to get my posts by email using the form on the side bar.

(Note: if you are reading this by email and are already a subscriber, simply send me an email reply and let me know whether you want the husband's or wife's challenge and I'll send it to you right away.)

An Alternate Challenge

As an alternative to (or in addition to) my 14-Day Intimacy Challenge, marriage blogging friends Brad and Kate Aldrich of One Flesh Marriage are running their annual 10 Day Sex Challenge during the days leading up to Valentine's Day. It's a great way to put sex on the front burner of your marriage. Hurry up and get on board. It start February 4th!

Here are Brad and Kate in a video that gives ten reasons you should take the sex challenge:

Direct YouTube link

2016 Update: Intimate Connections now available in hardcopy!  Details Below.

Face it, a lot of husbands aren’t that great at conversation, much less deep and meaningful conversation.

That’s a problem for building intimacy in a marriage, because as I define it, intimacy comes from being fully known, yet completely loved. 

It’s the being known part that is hardest for most couples. It’s so hard to be “naked” without shame, isn’t? (If  you haven’t seen what I’ve written on this topic see this post.) We tend to hide our innermost feelings because we fear being judged for them.

Men are especially guilty of this (I know because I am one).  And in truth, a lot of the emotional disconnect with couples is because a lot of husbands just aren’t comfortable baring their souls.

So What’s a Couple To Do?

How can you build emotional intimacy when the husband isn’t that great at sharing his feelings or engaging in intimate conversations?

I’ve got a workbook called Intimate Connections. The idea for this came about from something I did for our 20 year anniversary (more than ten years ago now!).

It’s filled with great fill-in-the-blank conversation starters like “20 Places We’d Like to See,” “20 Ways Our Marriage is Great,” “20 Ways to Explore Each Other’s Bodies.” and “20 Dream Dates We Want to Have.”  Some of them you fill out together, others you fill out separately and compare notes.
Maybe you could incorporate a few of these questions into your Valentine’s Day plans. Order now and select expedited shipping at checkout to get it before February 14th.

Do you have some other questions that could be asked of the two of you to spark some intimate conversation?  I’d love to hear your ideas in the comments!

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A little more than two weeks to go. Do you have a plan?

You know what I'm talking about.

Are you one of those husbands who gets a mild panic attack when he thinks about Valentine’s Day? Or maybe you have decided V-Day is nothing more than a creation of crass commercialism, which you are not going to buy into. Perhaps you leave the romance department to your wife.

Whatever your stance, I’m going to challenge you to do something different this year.

I’m challenging you to man up and make a plan for Valentine’s Day.

A Plan Says I Care About You and Us

You want to hear a secret when it comes to romancing your wife? Lean in, let me whisper it to you, so your wife won’t overhear.  It almost doesn’t matter what you do. That’s right, as long as it is clear to her that you put a lot into it and that you are excited about it, she will love it. No kidding.

Here’s why. When you put forth effort to romance your wife she will receive it as you pursuing her. And your wife loves to be pursued.

Also, she will see it as you leading in your relationship’s emotional intimacy department. And your wife loves it when you lead.

Finally, taking the time and effort to plan something special tells her you care about her and her needs and that you care about your marriage. And your wife loves to feel cared for.

No More Excuses

So if I’m right about the fact that you almost cannot fail, you have no more excuse not to step up and make a plan. You’ve got time.

Still not sure where to begin? Here are four basic steps to point you in the right direction:

1. Keep it secret - The element of surprise adds to the romantic effect
2. Make it multi-faceted – your plan should involve more than simply presenting her with a gift. Make it something you can spread out over at least several hours or even all day. It could even be something to be played out over weeks or months in steps.
3. Focus on her – one problem men have in planning romantic encounters is that they don’t separate sex and romance the way women do. What I’m saying is that your whole purpose should be to bring HER pleasure in the way SHE desires. Depending on your wife, that may or may not include overtly sexual expressions.
4. Show your heart – this can be hard one for many men, who don’t typically major on feelings and expressing them. If you want to really bless your wife, get past your discomfort and pour out your feelings about her.

If you include these four basic elements to your plan, it will be a tremendous hit. I promise.

A Little Inspiration

Still needing a little guidance? Here are some examples of some successful romantic encounters that I have planned out and performed for my wife. I have shared these here in the past, but here are the links for easy reference.

• Romantic Balloon Pop – A dozen surprises hidden inside a dozen balloons - great fun! 
• 100 Things I Love About You – This is a great one, and you don’t need to make it 100 if that is too daunting!
• Homemade Spa – A personally designed day of spoiling relaxation. Sure to be a hit! 
• Surprise Getaway – Kidnap your wife for a romantic getaway. My wife's description of one of the many times I've done this for her. 
• 14-Day Intimacy Challenge - Give your wife two weeks of intimacy – HER way. Do the challenge in the two weeks leading up to February 14th or the 14 days following.See the end of this post for details on how to get the challenge.

Alright guys! I've given you the reasons. I've given you key tips. I've given you examples. 

Now get out there and PLAN something!

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You can follow the daily links to do the Intimacy Challenge online on this page.   Or you can get a convenient pdf of the challenge for free via email when you sign up for my Pathways monthly intimacy newsletter. (Hurry, though, the February edition is coming out in just a few days with lots more romantic ideas!) Sign up on my blog  or right here:

Don't miss the giveaway details below!

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I’m following up today on my last counter-culture marriage post, Sex is a Big Deal.

At the end of that post, I mentioned a terrific new resource for boosting your sex life called 31 Days to Great Sex, an e-book by writer and fellow marriage-blogger Sheila Gregoire. She blogs at To Love Honor and Vacuum.

A Quick Book Review

I am a big fan of the Sheila’s holistic approach to sex. As I mentioned yesterday, sex is much more than a physical act, and the book is written around that very principle. Her thinking is much along the lines of my 14-Day Intimacy Challenge, and I found myself nodding in wholehearted agreement throughout.  Of course, her book gives you a much more in-depth treatment to each daily topic and runs more than twice as many days!

The book is full of wonderful insights and advice for both husbands and wives.  It is 131 pages in length.
Here is little overview.

• Section 1, Days 1-8, is “Turning Sex into Something Positive.” It is a fitting on-ramp to the rest of the book, addressing some of the major mental hang-ups we have about sex. The mind is your most important sex organ!
• Sections 2, 3 and 4 (covering 17 days in total) deal respectively with the emotional, physical and spiritual dimensions of your sex life.  A few samples of the daily topics include “Ways to Flirt with Your Spouse,” “Turning Foreplay Up a Notch,” and “Experiencing Spiritual Intimacy when you Make Love.’
• The book wraps up with six days dedicated to keeping the sexual momentum in your marriage going into the future, with such helpful topics as “Quickies Can be Fun” and “Sex After Parenthood.”

Why You Should Get It

I’m re-emphasizing Sheila’s book today for several reasons.

First and foremost, it is a fantastic resource for married couples in all stages of life. Whether you are newly married or, like my wife and I, married more than 30 years, you will find Sheila’s insights on sex and her daily challenges to be of great benefit to your marriage.

Second, I am offering a free copy of "31 Days to Great Sex" as a give-away to one lucky commenter. Just answer this question in the comments: “Which dimension of sex do you think is the most important (physical, emotional, or spiritual) and why?” Not an easy question, I know, but I’m very curious to hear your thoughts.

Third, I believe in and want to help Sheila get the word out in support of strong marriages full of fantastic sex. As she says, “Married sex should be the best sex,” despite what our prevailing culture says to the contrary.

So, please help me help Sheila and order your copy of "31 Days to Great Sex" today. And since I’m part of her affiliate network, I benefit too when you order through the link below. Regardless of whether you get it through me or somewhere else, do get it!



<< CLICK ON THE BOOK COVER TO ORDER YOUR COPY



Don’t forget to leave a comment below to be entered into the contest. (Email readers click the link!) The drawing happens at noon on Tuesday, December 4th. 





PS  Don’t wait to order, because Sheila has graciously offered a copy of her successful book, “Good Girls Guide to Great Sex,” in the event that you win and have already ordered!

Sorry this resource is no longer available. 

For my latest free offer, click here.

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Don't miss out on two important chances to enhance the intimacy in your marriage!

Free E-Book

First, in case you missed it, my new e-book, The 14-Day Intimacy Challenge, is available for free in PDF form. The terrific resource for building intimacy gives you three daily challenges: something to think about, something to act upon, and a question to ask your spouse.

Hundreds participated in my online 14-day challenge.   The response was so positive that I decided to offer a convenient digest in e-book form for those who may have missed it. There is a separate edition for wives and husbands.

You get it free when you sign up for my Pathways monthly email newsletter.

Pathways

The first edition of my Pathways newsletter will be coming out in less than a week. Don't miss it!

Now is the time to sign up to receive insightful thoughts, tips, teaching and testimonies, all relating the the intimacy in your marriage. Whether you are looking to enhance emotional, spiritual or physical intimacy, this publication is for you.

The purpose of Pathways is to keep your marriage headed down the Path of Intimacy  Whether you took the Intimacy Challenge or not, this is a resource you don't want to miss.