Take Our Current Survey
Answer a quick question about what you would like to have more of in your marriage
Introduction to the Journey:
About The Author:
Click the arrow to show/hide series
On Being One Flesh
The Audacity of the Bridal Paradigm
The Path of Intimacy
Shame and Intimacy
Grace In Marriage
- My Marriage Beliefs
- What If...?
- ► 2016 (46)
- ► 2015 (33)
- ► 2014 (47)
- ► 2013 (51)
- ▼ April (4)
- ► 2011 (83)
- ► 2010 (102)
About (19) Accountability (7) Authority (49) Awards (1) Being One Flesh (82) Blog Links (78) Blogging (36) Books (26) Children (11) Christmas (3) Commitment (28) Communication (67) Date Night (8) Differences (38) Difficulties (59) Downloads (5) Dress for Success (7) Faith (11) Family Life (43) Finances (8) Friday Favorites (8) Friday Freebies (9) Giveaways (15) Glory (4) Goals (42) Grace (48) Guest Post (4) Headship (12) Intimacy (172) Intimacy Challenge (21) Kindness (13) Love (92) Man-up Monday (17) Marriage (92) Men (47) Men Only Monday (7) Needs (6) Paradigm in Practice (22) Passion (23) Positivity (24) Prayer (27) Resources (21) Respect (14) Roles (9) Romance (45) Romantic Ideas (24) RRR (19) Sex (68) Shame (12) Society and Culture (44) Songs (2) Spiritual Life (97) Submission (39) Surrender (34) Surveys and Polls (36) The Bridal Paradigm (75) The Church (16) Transparency (27) True Love (9) Trust (2) Truth in Tension (5) Videos (10) Watchfulness (59) What If? (5) Wives only Wednesday (18) Women (35)
Monday, April 2, 2012
You have probably heard or seen other similar ads: lose weight without changing your eating habits, get out of debt without reducing your lifestyle, get a sculpted body in five minutes a day, win the lottery, get rich quick.
Everybody is offering easy, pain-free fixes for the worst of life’s problems.
Something for Nothing
Something-for-nothing promises are everywhere. Some would say they play on our hopes and optimism. Others would say they play on our laziness and sense of entitlement. It’s probably some of both.
Don’t be fooled by the hype! Building an intimate, passionate, enduring marriage takes effort. It will cost you, and it will require you to make sacrifices. Sometimes you‘ll have to lay down your rights for the sake of your relationship. A great marriage requires you to be diligent and attentive to your spouse, to be purposeful in how you do your marriage.
When it comes to marriage, as for so many other important things in your life, you get out of it what you put into it. It's a little like the spiritual principle of "you reap what you sow."
No it’s not easy, but it is so very worth it!
What are the long-term benefits of investing consistently in your marriage?
In a 2009 study published by the American Psychological Association, author Bianca Acevedo explains that long-term marriages that are able to maintain intensity, engagement and sexual interest are associated with overall well-being and high self-esteem, in addition to marital satisfaction.
In short, a good marriage is good for you!
According to the APA study, the key to keeping that romance alive is simple: hard work. No, simple is not the same as easy. “Research has suggested these couples spend time and really care about the relationship; they seem to be able to resolve conflicts relatively smoothly,” said Acevedo.
The Lie of Inevitable Decline
There’s a popular misconception that long-term marriage is a path to inevitable decline in passion and intimacy. There’s a belief that the fiery love of early marriage fades eventually into a safer, more comfortable kind of relationship. I call it the “roommate syndrome.” Don’t believe it.
The same APA study quoted above challenges the roommate syndrome. By examining a number of prior marriage studies, they found significant evidence that what they referred to as romantic love (consisting of intensity, engagement and sexual interest) can be maintained for the long haul. They challenge the assumption that romantic love cannot endure, and point to this prevalent notion as being to blame for so many “status quo” relationships. "It's to be expected."
Some couples are satisfied with barely avoiding divorce “for the sake of the kids.” But how much better would it be for the kids to see their parents passionately, demonstrably in love? We are seeing what happens to married roommates once the kids are gone by way of the recent significant increase in divorce rates among empty nesters.
Could a culture chock-full of vibrant marriages reverse the widespread societal discouragement over marriage, with its accompanying decline in the marriage rate and dramatic increase in cohabitation and out-of-wedlock births?
I think so. Do you?
- - - - - - - - - - - -Facebook page! It’s got lots of extra marriage-related stuff like videos, links, news stories, and conversations not found on my blog. Come on over and let’s meet up!
Connect With Us
Subscribe by email and never miss a post!
New subscribers will receive a free copy of my special report:
What Husbands and Wives Need Most
Don't miss this intriguing report!
Facebook page has lots of extra marriage-related stuff not found on my blog.
FREE! Intimacy Download
Sign up for my monthly Pathways Newsletter and get this free download! It's a new e-book couples can use to improve sexual intimacy in their relationship.