NEW! Intimate Connections

Take Our Current Survey

Three Things Survey

Answer a quick question about what you would like to have more of in your marriage

Popular Series

Click the arrow to show/hide series

Search Journey to Surrender

Blog Archive

Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.        (Ephesians 5:22-25)

Without doubt, the question of authority in marriage is a contentious one. If someone dares to make a case for the biblical view that a husband is to be the leader of his home and the wife is to submit to him, the shouts of unfairness, sexism and outdated misogynistic oppression come streaming forth. Typically, the biblical view is summarily rejected.

Why is it so hard for us to believe that God designed marriage to operate within the context of a certain authority structure? I am convinced it is because we have the wrong paradigm; our mind-set about authority and submission is completely corrupted. Our typical picture of authority is that of the evil corporate boss: narcissistic, domineering, self-promoting and manipulative. And the common understanding of submission is equally erroneous, equated with weakness, loss, repression and injustice. Also wrong is the idea that what the Bible describes is some kind of throwback to the mid-20th century, a la Ward and June Clever.

We don’t have the right paradigm, and it's probably because what the Bible describes is something we’ve never really seen, at least not on a wide scale.

Clearly the Ephesians 5 chapter indicates that our example of authority and submission should come from the relationship between Jesus and the church. Jesus’ authority is not wielded as domination and control, but as loving leadership, servant-heartedness, and tender compassion, yet with a sense of genuine authority and unwavering strength. Our submission and surrender to him does not result in our subjugation and defeat, but in freedom, peace, blessing and ultimate fulfillment.

Our relationship with Jesus is not about our mindless conformance to a set of rules and edicts. Rather, it is about completely giving him our hearts in response to his unconditional love for us. It’s about being joined to him in deepest intimacy and living with passion for him and for his Kingdom.

This is the right paradigm. This is the bridal paradigm.  What's your paradigm?


Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

We Have Moved!

Journey to Surrender
is now

Stay here if you want to search old content.

Click on over if you want to see the latest and greatest!

Connect With Us

Subscribe by email and never miss a post!

New subscribers will receive a free copy of my ebook :

How to Have a Succ-Sex-Full Marriage

My new Heaven Made Marriage Facebook page has lots of extra marriage-related stuff not found on my blog.

Follow Journey to Surrender on Twitter: @marriagejourney.

Subscribe via

Member of:
Christian Marriage Bloggers Association Members Badge

Contributing Writer: