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Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Comments from Mike on my last post reminded me of a question I have been meaning to address for some time. Why do I choose to focus exclusively on “Christian” marriage? 

One of Mike’s points was that by solely targeting Christian marriages I immediately create a separation, a distinction if you will, that prevents the possibility of a singular common definition of marriage.

As desirable as a harmonized societal marriage definition may sound, I just don’t think it’s possible. If you’ve read much in my blog at all, you’ve seen that most of what I believe about marriage is based on spiritual principles that hold no relevancy to a non-believer. It would be like me, a meat lover, trying to write a cookbook that would also be useful for vegetarians. Such a tiny fraction of it would cross over that it makes little sense to even try.

That’s not to say that some of the marriage principles I espouse wouldn’t be useful to those without a common spiritual grid. Surely a few of my recipes in the cookbook scenario would be compatible with a vegetarian’s diet. But consider that the core of my understanding of marriage is this:
  • God is the designer of marriage.
  • He designed it with a certain idea in mind of how it should work.
  • He showed us that idea in the marriage of his Son, Jesus, to his bride, the church.
How to you translate that core understanding into secular terms? This concept, this bridal paradigm makes no sense to someone who sees Jesus as nothing more than an interesting historical figure.

So I will go on being “exclusive,” because if I take the spiritual core out of what I believe about marriage, it completely loses its power and meaning. Will I limit, as a result, the number of people who read and follow this blog? Yes. Will I occasionally offend non-Christians by appearing to exclude them or by stating beliefs that they see as narrow-minded? Yes. Is it possible that by exploring here the love relationship between Jesus and us that some may be drawn to know this love in a personal way? Maybe so.

But my genuine hope is that in the process I will somehow be more effective in bringing across what I see as an urgent and important message for the bride of Christ in this hour.

What do you think? Have I missed the boat by making this a Christian marriage blog?


Carrie B said...

I don't think you missed the boat. It's *your* blog, which is the beauty. There are scads of marriage and relationship blogs out there. You can only offer quality content if you stand behind it. Be true to yourself and trust your gut, despite what folks may say to the contrary.

Scott said...

Thanks Carrie. I appreciate the words of support!

Anonymous said...

I agree with Carrie, its your blog so you write about what you are compelled to write about. If you are led to write about marriage as a whole minus a focus on Christian marriage, your walk with Christ will speak through anyway.

Anonymous said...

I support your choice - especially because you make the distinction so clearly. It's what you know, it's what you have a passion for and it's certainly what you can write compelling material about.

What would upset me (and I have seen it in other blogs) is if you had initials after your name, used this blog as part of your professional practice and continued to make religious references.

But you don't and it's right there in your header: Christian marriage. So carry on!

Scott said...

Thanks Favor and Newlywed. I certainly plan to continue as I have begun. We'll see where this ride takes me. Stop back by again soon.

Paul Byerly said...


I agree with your focus, but given that the principles of God is true and valid,, I know that those who don't follow our Lord can still benefit form what you write.


Scott said...

Thanks Paul. I agree, truth is truth, and some will recognize it for what it is regardless of their religious affiliations (or not).

CardDolphin said...

Hi. As a Christian, I especially appreciate the focus and perspective you present on Christian marriages. There's a LOT of secular information out there and it can be difficult to filter through it to get to something I feel applies to me as a Christian. So, thank you, very much for sticking to your convictions and making this blog available!

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