NEW! Intimate Connections

Take Our Current Survey

Three Things Survey

Answer a quick question about what you would like to have more of in your marriage

Popular Series

Click the arrow to show/hide series

Search Journey to Surrender

Blog Archive

Wednesday, February 23, 2011
I’m working on a short series unpacking some of the recent marriage statistics that I’ve been studying, but at the moment I am swamped with preparing to speak at our church’s marriage retreat this weekend. It’s going to be a fabulous time with 25 other couples looking to invigorate and strengthen their marriages.

In the mean time, here’s a compelling video that speaks to our cultural obsession with appearance. I saw this on Shannon Ethridge’s blog and decided to pass on here:

YouTube Link

I’m reminded of how starkly the Kingdom of God contrasts with the kingdom of this world when it comes to appearance.
  • “For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Sam 16:7b)
  • He gives me the countenance of his glory in exchange for my shame. “Those who look to him are radiant, their faces are never covered with shame” (Psalm 34:5)
  • My slightest glance in God’s direction ignites his very heart with love. “You have made my heart beat faster, my sister, my bride ; You have made my heart beat faster with a single glance of your eyes,” (Song 4:9)
  • He calls me beautiful. “My lover spoke to me and said, ‘Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me.’” (Song 2:10)

How do we fight against the overwhelming current of appearance-obsessed messages that surround us? Honestly, I don’t know.

But fight we must, one marriage at a time.

I don’t know anything about Dr. Oz or his philosophies, and I’ve never seen his show, but my wife was telling me the other day about an episode she saw part of that explored the shame so many women feel about their bodies. There were women on the show whose husbands had NEVER seen hem naked due to shame they felt over their bodies. How unbelievably sad!

I’m not naïve. I’m not saying that appearance makes no difference or that we shouldn’t invest in looking our best and being healthy. I enjoy it when my wife gets dressed up, fixes her hair nicely and puts on make-up, especially when I know she is doing it mainly for me. But I also find her stunning in blue jeans, without make-up, when she rolls out of bed with morning bed-hair, or when she is all sweaty from exercising. I know and love the true beauty she possesses, both outside and in, and whenever I look at her, that’s what I see. I try to tell her often, even if she doesn’t always receive it or believe it.

Everyone wants to be found attractive, especially by the person they are married to. 

Everyone wants to know that their spouse would choose them again, even now.

Everyone wants to be appreciated for who they are on the inside, not just their outside covering.

Everyone wants to feel that their spouse thinks they are  
pretty amazing.

Are these things that you frequently communicate to your spouse?

Releated Posts:
        Intimacy and Shame: Appearance

        The Body Image Battle


Kate and Brad Aldrich said...

Scott, these are amazing insights! These are real issues! Thank you for addressing them! You are so right! I shared my thoughts in these very subjects not to long ago! It breaks my heart to meet people who think they are so much less then God intended for them to be! I know I need to feel that I am attractive to my hubby and I try everyday to let him know how attractive he is to me! He truly is! Thanks for once again sharing your heart! God truly speaks through you, friend! Kate

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

We Have Moved!

Journey to Surrender
is now

Stay here if you want to search old content.

Click on over if you want to see the latest and greatest!

Connect With Us

Subscribe by email and never miss a post!

New subscribers will receive a free copy of my ebook :

How to Have a Succ-Sex-Full Marriage

My new Heaven Made Marriage Facebook page has lots of extra marriage-related stuff not found on my blog.

Follow Journey to Surrender on Twitter: @marriagejourney.

Subscribe via

Member of:
Christian Marriage Bloggers Association Members Badge

Contributing Writer: