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Sunday, August 19, 2012
More of What You're Looking For
10:07 PM | Posted by
Scott |
Edit Post
This is the second half of
my reflections on web searches that landed people on my blog over the past 8
weeks. I’m using these search results to explore what’s up with marriages by
looking at what married folks are looking for on the web.
You might want to read about
the
top 5 search terms before you read this post.
Top Searches (Part 2)
The topics below round out
the top ten web searches
6. Dictator
Husband – You’ll recall from my previous post that “husband refuses to
lead” was number two, but historically has always been number one. This is the
other half of the leadership dynamic that is causing marriage stress these
days. A husband is called to walk in Christ’s image in his marriage and home by
being both strong and good – the two are not mutually exclusive. That means
leading with love. When a husband leads without love, does the strong without
the good, that’s when a wife begins to feel she is married to a dictator.
Almost every one of the many
searches related to this topic landed people on the post “What
if My Husband Acts Like a Dictator?”
7. A Wife’s Submission – I categorized these searches separately from those
searching in general about “submission and surrender,” which was number 4
overall. From the nature of these searches, I could tell that these were wives
looking for teaching on how to surrender/submit to their husbands. These were searches like, “letting my husband
lead,” and “surrender to my husband.” I’ll point out here, as I did in my last
post, that husbands searching for “how to lead my wife” barely made it onto the
search radar. The contrast is a bit sad and startling, because I write more
about leadership than I do submission.
Searchers ended up on many
different posts, depending on the exact terms used in the search. Among the more popular search destinations
were “Respect,
Submission and Trust” and “A
Wife’s Sexual Surrender.” Also popular were “What
if My Wife Won’t Let me Lead” and “What
if My Husband Won’t Lead.”
8) Romantic Ideas – I haven’t been posting on this theme much lately,
and based on the number of people looking for help in this area, I should get
back to posting more romantic ideas soon. For a complete list of posts with
romantic ideas, click
here.
9) My Wife Won’t Submit – Just so you get an idea of the relative scale of
this search compared to two for husbands, for every 10 searches for “my husband
won’t lead” there were 7 searches for “my husband acts like a dictator” and
less than 2 for “my wife won’t submit.” This isn’t a scientific analysis, but the
comparison tells me that there are many more wives looking online for help
understanding their biblical roles than there are husbands. Again, to me this
is at least a mild indication that men are failing to step up much more than
women are failing to walk in submission to their husbands.
Husbands looking for help
with this were all directed to my post “What
if My Wife Won’t Let me Lead,” in which I basically tell them that you
can’t “make” your wife submit and that you shouldn’t even try. That’s not what
you are called to. You are simply called to love your wife like Jesus loves the
church.
10) Porn Searches – I’ve always had the occasional hit from people
obviously looking for pornographic material, although recently the number seems
to be on the increase. No, I’m not sharing details here, though some of them
make me laugh out loud when I imagine the utter disappointment the searcher
experienced when landing on my blog. I only mention it as significant because
about half of these searches had themes consistent with the “Shades of Gray”
phenomena that caused “sexual surrender” to rank number one this time.
If you’ve been living in a
vacuum and wonder what all the “shades of gray” talk is about, I’m referring to
the sado-masochistic erotica that has been on the number one best seller list
for months now, 50 Shades of Gray.
Other than in this post and
my previous one, I haven’t mentioned it on my blog, but because it seems to
have figured so prominently in my search findings I decided I would point you
to some of the many thoughtful posts fellow marriage bloggers have written
about it. Check out these blog posts from Intimacy
in Marriage, To
Love Honor and Vacuum, The
Generous Husband, The
Generous Wife, The
Romantic Vineyard, Mystery
32, and Hot
Holy and Humorous.
What do you make of this list of
most-searched topics? Any surprises for you? How do you interpret it all?
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