NEW! Intimate Connections

Take Our Current Survey

Three Things Survey

Answer a quick question about what you would like to have more of in your marriage

Popular Series

Click the arrow to show/hide series

Search Journey to Surrender

Blog Archive

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Several of my blogging friends have already posted on the things they love about being married. So I thought it was high time I jump in and give you my list too.

Note: you'll find links to other bloggers' "things I love about marriage" posts at the end of this post. Be sure to check them out.

So without further ado, here's my list.

1)  Great Sex

I suppose I'm being stereotypically male by putting this one first. But the truth is that sexual intimacy is the one physical characteristic that distinguishes my marriage from every other relationship in my life. It's more than the icing on the cake of my marriage. It's binds Jenni and I together in powerful ways, like nothing else can. Sex is like super-glue in our relationship. I'll put it right out there that I am thankful we share a passionate and exciting sex life and that Jenni and I try to make it a priority amidst all the craziness of life that tries to prevent it.  See my post "Becoming One Flesh - Literally."

2)  We Are One.

Sex distinguishes our marriage from all other relationship in the physical - it's where we are literally one flesh. It's also true that when we married, we also become one in spirit and soul. Again, this oneness is unique to my relationship with Jenni. We aren't one with our kids, our jobs, our churches, friends or family. We are only one with each other. It means we share a mysterious and supernatural connection to one another that we continue to understand more and more the longer we are married. Check my recent post "What If... You and Your Spouse Really Are One." 

3)  It's a Living Bridal Paradigm

It always amazes me how our marriage informs my understanding of my walk with Jesus.  It works the other way around too. My spiritual life often teaches me about marriage. It makes sense in light of the Bridal Paradigm, the notion that we are the bride of Christ.

4)  We Get Each Other

Jenni and I have been married for almost 32 years, and we really know each other at the deepest level. We enjoy true intimacy. which I define as being fully known and yet totally loved. Without speaking we know how each other will respond in different situations, often exchanging knowing looks. We know each other's strengths, which we rely on, and each other's weaknesses, which we try to have grace for.

4)  She is My Encouragement & Inspiration

My wife is my biggest cheer leader. She is a continual source of encouragement when I face difficulty and a great inspiration for me to live my life toward the destiny God has for me.

5)  We Fit

In many way Jenni and I are opposites. In other ways we are exactly the same. All in all, we just fit.  We counterbalance each other in important ways. Her fun-loving nature balances out my slight melancholy. My love of adventure and discovery balances out her risk aversion. Her social and people skills balance out my complete lack of such things. My practicality and logic (Meyer Briggs T) balances our her total dependence of feelings (Meyers Briggs F).  In other ways, like our spiritual outlook, we are very much in line with each other. We share a common set of core values, such as over finances and the importance of family.

6) We Grow Each Other

I almost said "We Fit Perfectly" for number 5, but I realized that such a relationship probably doesn't exist. That leads me to reason number six. Dr. David Schnarch says, "Marriage is a people growing machine." I agree. If your marriage is anything like mine, it's where the best and worst of you comes out. But in the end we help each other grow and rub the rough edges off of each other.

7) It's Fun!

The truth is I love being married to Jenni because we enjoy each other so much. We have fun together no matter where we go or what we do. We just enjoy each other's presence, even if it's simply sitting on a cliff overlooking the ocean and staring quietly at beauty for hours on end (yes, we've done that).

8) Disappearing Kisses

I make no secret about the fact that I think kissing is really important, and I am fortunate that Jenni is a wonderful kisser. We have this thing we call "disappearing kisses." It's a little hard to describe, but if you've had one, you'll know exactly what I mean. It's the kind of kiss that makes everything else disappear. Every worry, every pain, every stress, and every distraction all just fade far into the background and there is just the two of us sharing a soul-stirring and intimate kiss.

What about you? What do you love about being married?  I don't just mean being married in general, but what do you love about being married to your particular spouse? Leave a comment and let the world know!

Other bloggers proclaiming their love of marriage:
  • One Flesh Marriage- Brad and Kate each share their lists


Anonymous said...

I love the hugs when we say good-bye in the morning..I love to come home to my husband and re-connect after work, to name two good things in my marriage.
I love your positive thoughts...and pray for marriages all over the world to be encouraged by your words - thank you!

Scott said...

Thanks, Bonnie! Hellos and goodbyes are important and say a lot about how much you value each other! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Paul Byerly said...

"We Get Each Other" - Ain't that great!

Anonymous said...

Very little. I am so worn down by my wife's steadfast refusal of anything to do with sexual intimacy that I would like to just go to sleep some night and wake up in Heaven. I have tried to talk to her about it, I have given her articles on small steps we can work on, I have talked to my pastor for advice (he is winding down his ministery towards his retirement in 6 weeks so I guess he has forgotten about any follow up) and I have been on my face in tears and prayer to God and have seen only glimers of hope that seem to vannish in a day. I have grown weary of being a housemate to the woman I still love. I have read books and blogs but I still cannot figure out what I'm doing wrong or what sin God is trying to flush out of me.

Amanda said...

I love being married. We love to cuddle each other. I feel complete when I'm with him.

Anonymous said...

I know exactly how you feel. I have the same problem. You are doing nothing wrong. I've been married to this woman for nearly 20 years and she sometimes pines out loud for the "wonderful husband I had during the first eight years of our marriage". The facts are that she allowed a short honeymoon period and then began refusing sex. And when it occurred she made it as unpleasant as possible ("Are you done yet?", etc.). She stopped kissing me (lots of kisses during the courtship) and gave me three lies about the reason - Till I found out the real reason (I overheard her in a conversation with her mother). She simply never liked those "wet kisses". All of this while I was the model husband whose return she still pines for. It's not your fault. You cannot read enough blogs or be nice enough to fix her. She has a hard ungenerous heart and she's sinning in her treatment of you. The New Testament commands that sex and respect should be freely given in marriage. If she's doing the opposite, she's sinning. Tell her she's sinning. If your church has a Communion service, remind her of what Scripture says about taking the Lord's Supper while in a state of sin. She probably thinks she's making your marriage holy by keeping sex out of it. She needs to know that she is deep into a sin pattern and that is something she can fix today.
Let me say this right now. I don't expect anyone reading this but you to understand what I'm saying. I'll be accused of being a bully, etc. Not true. I was married to a wonderful woman for 25 years who was everything a man could want in a wife. All eight of the items listed in the blog post above were operating in our marriage. She died suddenly in March 1994. When I remarried, I quickly found that my current wife was nothing like my first wife, she bore little resemblance to the woman I had been dating. I believe the Apostle Paul calls it fraud.
In spite of any criticism I receive, my advice is still the same: She's in a sin pattern. Make sure she understands that.
You might also get her to agree to read selected blog posts with you and discuss them but I doubt she'll agree and if she does agree, she won't believe that people, especially women, actually think like what you will be reading.

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

We Have Moved!

Journey to Surrender
is now

Stay here if you want to search old content.

Click on over if you want to see the latest and greatest!

Connect With Us

Subscribe by email and never miss a post!

New subscribers will receive a free copy of my ebook :

How to Have a Succ-Sex-Full Marriage

My new Heaven Made Marriage Facebook page has lots of extra marriage-related stuff not found on my blog.

Follow Journey to Surrender on Twitter: @marriagejourney.

Subscribe via

Member of:
Christian Marriage Bloggers Association Members Badge

Contributing Writer: