Journey to Surrender

Saturday, May 5, 2012

The Power of Positive: Thinking

8:00 AM | Posted by Scott | Edit Post

This is part two of a four part series on the transforming power of positivity. The series starts here.

Today we're talking about the power your thoughts have in creating a positive atmosphere in your marriage.

What you think and believe about your marriage and your spouse is so important, because what you actually believe (as opposed to what you think you believe) has a way of working itself out into your words and actions.

Start With The Mind

There's a reason I chose to start with the impact of positive thinking.

The battle for your marriage starts in the mind!

From my post, “What Do You Think,” here a few tips on practicing positivity in your thinking.

Practice thankfulness daily. Every day consider at least one thing you are thankful for about your spouse or your marriage. Bonus points if you tell your spouse! Philippians 4:6-7 exhorts us to not be anxious, but to pray with thanksgiving as a means to having the peace of Christ rule our minds and hearts.
Guard your thoughts. What are you feeding your mind with? Do you let TV, movies and gossip news form the basis of what you believe about marriage? Or are you purposeful in gaining a solid understanding of God’s design for marriage? There’s lots of stuff about that in this blog – explore!
Pray for your spouse and your marriage. Commit to pray daily for your spouse and your marriage. And I don’t mean the “Lord, please make him/her do ______.” I mean pray that they will be strengthened, for their spiritual life, for them to walk in their destiny in Christ and for blessing. If you don’t know what or how to pray, the prayers found in Ephesians 1:17-23, Ephesians 3:16-21 and in Colossians 1:9-12 are fantastic for praying for your spouse.
Watch what you say to your spouse and about your spouse and your marriage. I won't say much here, because that's our next topic: The Power of Positive: Speaking. I'll just say that truth, positive and encouraging truth, when spoken out loud has a way of being reinforced in your mind. When you say it, it becomes more true for you.

I often hear it said that right thinking leads to right doing. That's why it is so important to get your thinking screwed on straight. That's why I talk so much about seeing your marriage through the right lens. For me that lens is the Bridal Paradigm; the understanding that marriage is designed to reflect the love relationship between Christ and the church. The more I begin to comprehend it, the more it transforms my own marriage.

Are there an other ways you've found that help you practice positive thinking?

Next up: The Power of Positive Speaking

Labels: Marriage, Positivity, Prayer, The Bridal Paradigm | 0 comments

Friday, May 4, 2012

The Power of Positive

3:33 PM | Posted by Scott | Edit Post

During our marriage small group lesson on “Passion” last week, we had a great discussion about how important it is to be positive if you want to keep passion alive in your marriage.

Positivity can have a huge impact on the atmosphere of your marriage! It’s almost impossible for passion and intimacy to coexist with negativity. Think about it. Negative words, thoughts and actions are like pouring cold water on the flames of passion in your marriage. A barrage of negativity will also make intimacy difficult, whether you are talking about physical, emotional or spiritual intimacy.

I think that sometimes we fail to see how significantly our negativity (or positivity) affects our spouse and the atmosphere of our marriage.

Over the course of the next three posts I’m going to cover ways in which you can infuse your marriage with a positive vibe that is completely infectious. Why not see if you can infect your spouse!?!

It’s Up To You!

The first thing to realize about being positive is that it is a choice. Before I talk specifically about thinking, speaking and doing positive things to affirm and strengthen your marriage, let's talk about the importance of being intentional and purposeful.

We all have lots of stuff that could drag us down into being negative; that’s just real life. But we also have a choice how we react to our circumstances. Maybe you’ve even fallen into the habit of blaming your spouse for the unhappiness in your life that is the cause of your negativity. If you missed my post “Own Your Own Happiness,” go read it. And be sure to also watch the TED Talk at the end on the power of positivity.

Don’t make the mistake of waiting for “things” to get better before working on being positive. Make the choice to think, speak and act in a positive manner and see how much better these “things” seem.

The power of positive is positively transformational! Shiela Gregoire said the following in a a recent post, “What’s Your Attitude,” and it really resonated with me:

Gratitude can transform a marriage. When we focus on what we’re angry with our husbands about, and all the things that they aren’t doing, then our marriage will be lousy. When we focus instead on what we love about our husbands, that is what we will tend to think about, and our attitudes will change.

Choosing to be positive is not about faking it. It’s about being deliberate to focus on and amplify the good stuff and mute the bad. There is truth in the adage “you become what you behold.” Whatever you focus on becomes a more significant part of you. So why not focus on the good stuff?

What about you? Can you think of a time in your own marriage where a deliberate choice to be positive turned things around?

Next up: Think Positive!

Labels: Difficulties, Intimacy, Marriage, Passion, Positivity | 3 comments