Journey to Surrender

What do a sports fan, an activist and a health nut have in common with the God of the universe?

I’m continuing today with my series on passion, which started back here.

Next time we will continue looking at more ways to build the passion in your marriage, but for today I want to pause to examine passion from some non-marital perspectives in the hopes of broadening your thinking.

If you’ve been following this series, you could already be catching on that passion in marriage might go beyond what you thought. However, maybe you need some help thinking beyond the romantic and sexual dimensions of passion? If so, read on.

Passion's Many Forms

What is a passionate sports fan? One who is super excited about their team. They probably talk enthusiastically about their team to anyone who will listen, and maybe some who would rather not. They proudly display their team's colors. They get to know their team’s every intimate detail. Are you this passionate about the team you and your spouse make?

Some are passionate for a cause. These are those activists who give lots of their time to it and prioritize it above other things in their life. They give generously to the cause. They believe in the cause and fight for it. They might read about it and study to gain more insight into whatever their cause is. Are you this passionate about the cause of your marriage?

Still others are passionate about health and fitness. They watch over their diet, ensuring only good things go into their bodies. They are intentional about working out regularly, keeping themselves strong and fit. Disinterested observers might label them a health nut. What about you? Are you a marriage-health nut?

The Ultimate Passion

There is one passion that makes all others pale in comparison.

Did you know that God is passionate about you? Do you have any idea how fiery and zealous His love for you is? Do you realize the lengths He will go to in order to have an intimate relationship with you, including sending His Son Jesus to die a cruel death?

God pursues you endlessly. He knows you completely, yet loves you radically.

For I am persuaded beyond doubt (am sure) that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor things impending and threatening nor things to come, nor powers, Nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38-39 (AMP)

Yes, it is safe to say that God is a passionate lover! Does that notion make you uncomfortable? It shouldn't. The truth is that we are made in His image. If we experience passion, He must also. Of course God's passion has no sexual component, but a direct spiritual parallel that is full of affection and longing for you and me.

Take some time to think about your passions and the passions of those around you. Consider how these other passion perspectives can help to expand your view of the passion you have for your marriage and your spouse. Most of all, study the passion of God and let it inspire you toward a passionate marriage.

Can you think of other examples of passion that might help us understand passion in marriage a little better? Let’s hear you ideas.  Leave a comment.

When was the last time you and your spouse did something just because it was fun?

Next up in this series on how to grow a more passionate marriage: Playfulness.

Looking for the Passion Switch

I think it's fair to say that most couples would like to have more passion in their marriage. So, why don't more couples achieve it?

One reason is that passion requires persistence. There is no "passion switch" that will suddenly triple the passion level in your marriage. Even occasional intensely passionate encounters, as great as they are, won't be enough to sustain passion.

Remember, passion is more than just what happens in the bedroom (or wherever). Passion has to do with relishing in every dimension of your marriage, the sexual, the spiritual, the relational - all of it. It's being crazy about your spouse and being willing to show it consistently, every single day. It's spending time together and connecting regularly on an emotional level. Maybe you think that's too idealistic, but passion is truly a daily choice, or rather, a set of daily choices.

Developing a passionate atmosphere in your marriage is mostly a frame of mind; it's something that burns on the inside of you. Learn to take delight in who your spouse is. Take pleasure in your marriage. Be thankful for what you have, but always go for more!

One thing you should be deliberate about is to regularly inject playfulness into your marriage.

Just For the Fun of It

How long has it been since you and your spouse did something just to have some fun? Really. No agendas, not on the to do list, no real purpose even. Just for fun.

Regularly injecting a little playfulness into your marriage will go a long way toward keeping passions alive.

When was the last time you laughed together until your sides hurt? Can't remember? Maybe you need to play a little more.

In addition to regularly having fun, another important dimension of playfulness is maintaining a sense of adventure.

Once in a while, do something you have never done before, just to mix things up a little and keep life interesting. And I'm not just talking about in the bedroom. Even small adventures, like visiting a park you've never gone to before, enjoying a new cuisine or trying a new sexual position, will add to the sense of freshness and help keep you from getting stuck in a rut.

Here's the truth, too much routine can be passion poison!

So step outside your comfort zone once in a while and infuse your marriage with a bit of creativity and excitement. It will do wonders for the passion in your marriage.

Passion Pointers

What is fun or exciting is going to be different for every marriage. What's fun to one couple is going to be lame to another. It can also be true that what is exciting to you might be either terrifying or completely boring to your spouse. That's why you have to work together on playfulness. Find what works for you both.

Here are just a few ideas to get you thinking:

• Go see a funny movie together. Yes, go to an actual theater.
• Learn a new card game. Add some adventure by making up a strip version!
• Buy and play a new board game.
• Make love in a different room of the house.
• Pick a new restaurant to visit next time you go out to dinner instead of "the usual." Try ordering something you've never tasted before.
• Make plans to explore a new nearby city together
• Take a cooking class or dancing lessons
• Surprise your spouse with one of these ideas.

On a whim, I recently shocked Jenni when I agreed for us to take some Salsa dancing lessons that were being offered at our church. We quickly discovered that we are no Fred and Ginger, but we had lots of fun and got to laugh hysterically at ourselves once every week for several months.

The thing is, as I said above, you are going to have to be purposeful about playfulness. In the midst of the craziness of life, fun and adventure won't necessarily just happen on their own. You will have to make room for them and be intentional about it. Trust me, though, it will pay off.

What do you and your spouse do to play together? Share your experiences and ideas in a comment.

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If you missed the other post in the Passion Series:

• Passion: the key to delighting in one another 
• Pursue your wife (Men Only Monday)
• Pursue your Husband (Wives Only Wednesday)