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Monday, May 7, 2012

This is the last of a four part series on the transforming power of positivity.  The series starts here.

Today we're talking about the actions that help create a positive atmosphere in your marriage.

Once you get the thinking and speaking parts of positivity down, your actions will tend to follow along without as much effort as it might otherwise be.   

Still, I want to encourage you to be purposeful in the way you treat one another. Little, frequent acts of kindness and love are the best way to ensure that passion and intimacy thrive. Watch and learn the things that bless your spouse the most:
  • Periodically send a positive, loving or encouraging text or Facebook message, especially if you know your spouse is facing some stress during their day.
  • Pray together and/or let your spouse know you are praying for them and what you are praying.
  • Buy him or her their favorite treat the next time you are at the store “just because.”
  • Give your husband or wife a back rub or a foot massage (without expecting one in return).
Remember, it’s better to do lots of little things consistently than to only do “big” things occasionally. 

I’ll conclude my thoughts on positive actions with this, also from my post on The Culture of Your Marriage
A surrendered marriage is all about serving one another. When we have a culture of gladly serving and meeting our spouse’s needs, it makes the atmosphere satisfying, safe and enjoyable. The key here is “with gladness.” No one wants to be served reluctantly. Think about the last time you had a waiter that clearly did not enjoy waiting tables. Compare that experience to the last time you had one of those waiters that obviously loves what they do. It makes for an altogether different dining experience. Mediocre food with fantastic services is better than great food and an unpleasant waiter.
It's action time!  I've offered a lot of suggestions on how you can infuse your marriage with positivity. Here are the links to the prior posts in the series:
  1. The Power of Positive
  2. The Power of Positive: Thinking
  3. The Power of Positive: Speaking
There is a lot here, I know.  So don’t try to tackle everything at once. You'll likely just flounder in frustration.

As you reflect on this series, pick one thing to do differently to be more positive in your marriage.  For the next week, focus on being more consistent at that one thing, and watch how the atmosphere begins to shift. 

Take the challenge. Let us know what one positive thing you are going to focus on this week.  And come back in a week and tell us if you noticed any changes in the atmosphere of your marriage. 


Anonymous said...

Hi! Just started reading this blog, thanks to "The Generous Wife"!! I LOVE to do things for my hubby, but alot of times, he doesn't say anything about what I do. I know you aren't to ask for thanks, and just do it with a happy, GODly heart! It gets hard to do sometimes. My hubby is an amazing man and does SO much for me, our 3 girls and our house. I know he loves me and I love him more than anything. I am just wondering if anyone else feels the same way or am I WAY off course here! Thank you for your help and prayers and for this post!! GOD Bless!! Julie

Scott said...

Hi and Welcome, Julie.

While you don't want to ask for praise, it's quite possible that this is an opportunity to help your husband understand YOUR love language, which might include words of affirmation. Perhaps you could have that conversation, even take the 5 Love Languages Test at this link:

You may also find out that "acts of service" don't necessarily rank high on HIS list. In any event it will spark some good discussion.

Cautionary note: Always go into these discussion with the mindset of "I know you love me and want to love me well. Let me tell you what that might look like to me. (And I want to do the same for you.)"

Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

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