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Sunday, May 6, 2012

This is part three of a four part series on the transforming power of positivity.  The series starts here.

Today we're talking about the transforming power of positive words.

You’ve probably heard it said that one negative statement carries the same emotional weight as seven positive ones.  Whether the number is true or not, you can shift the atmosphere in your marriage with your words.  Your words have the power to bring life and light into dark circumstances.  Even when things are fine, what you say can create forward momentum in your marriage. 

So make it a habit to speak ten positive, affirming and kind statements for every negative one. Better yet, go for 50-to-1!  As we discussed in our marriage small group recently, watch the passion level in your marriage grow as a result.  Remember that thinking it isn’t enough.  You need to say it out loud.

Here are some tips for speaking positively from my post “The Power of Your Words.”
  • Be Consistent – Do your best not to give mixed messages. Remember that it takes a whole bunch of positive statements to every negative one just to stay even.The point is to get and stay WAY ahead.
  • Be Constant –. Develop life-word habits. Commit to complimenting your spouse every day, but be genuine. And never get beyond confessing your love out loud to one another.
  • Be Deliberate – You have to be purposeful about speaking truth and life. It’s easy to let your conversations drift only to the functional and mundane.
  • Be An Eavesdropper – Pray for wisdom and revelation of what heaven is saying about your spouse, about your circumstances and about your marriage. Agree with that. Out loud.
  • Be A Treasure Hunter – We generally don’t have to work very hard to find negative stuff, but that isn’t what we want to agree with. Look for the good stuff, and amplify that with your words.
When it comes to affecting the Culture of Your Marriage what you say matters greatly! 

So be watchful over your words, your tone, and your body language when you communicate. The words matter, but so does how you express them.

Make it a habit to speak into the things you want to see rather than the things you see that you don’t like. Having a culture of honor means speaking respectfully at all times.  It means freely expressing admiration for each other.  It means each valuing the other for who God sees them to be. 

Do you have some other tips on how you use words to create a positive atmosphere in your own marriage?


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